A634.3.4.RB - The Harder They Fall_SharpMelissa

First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.

(Proverbs 16:18)

Society

I think society’s overall consensus is that pride is a good thing. We should take pride in our work, our nation, our heritage, etc. While I certainly understand that kind of pride, there is a destructive pride. As outlined in the biblical proverb above, when pride comes, ruin soon follows. Perhaps pride comes from the allure and taste of power… Kramer (2003) noted that the trappings of power only serve to feed the dangerous illusions that we have of ourselves; one of the dangerous self-illusions is that we tend to think we are better-than-average in all that we do (para. 22). From an early age we are taught to excel because winners take all. We are indirectly, unintentionally taught to focus less on introspection and the impact of our actions, and more on winning (Kramer, 2003, para. 11). It’s as though no one really cares how we get there, as long as we reach the top…. that’s scary. What scares me most is the acceptability of “win at any cost”, but most wouldn’t phrase it that way. Winning at any cost is sugar-coated by inspirational words like, “work hard”, “climb the ladder”, “sleep later”, “look out for yourself”. Meanwhile, people are literally doing whatever it takes to succeed, while being praised in the process…that is, until they fall.

Work

A few friends and I were recently talking about our work experiences; one friend shared a story about a co-worker who tries to compete with her. My friend is one of those people who works hard and collaborates well; she’s doesn’t try to outshine others (my friend just naturally shines, but maybe I’m biased). My friend shared that her co-worker’s desire to “climb above” her (my friend), negatively impacts the workplace. It is difficult to collaborate with someone who is trying to use your head as a ladder. Thankfully, I have not had an experience like that, but I know that I am not exempt from “acting out”, to get ahead. Therefore, I try to stay balanced. I focus on the fact that I do not know everything, and I try to stay teachable. A teachable attitude is sometimes difficult, especially when I’m overly confident in my abilities; however, a teachable attitude helps me maintain the humility that I need, to effectively do my work.

Life

I pursued my undergraduate degree at a small, private, traditional college. At a college that small, it was easy to be a “big deal” on campus. I was involved in multiple clubs; I was accepted into a scholarship-based music program, I was a member of the university’s public relations team; I was a resident’s assistant (RA) for the women’s dorm, and I was academically excellent. I remember one of my professors telling us that our college experience should not be the high point of our lives. He wanted us to know that going out into the “world” was going to be different. On campus, I was the elite; however, in the world, I was only one of many. Even though I took my professor’s words to heart, I admit, I still had a lot of pride. Kramer (2003) noted that “decades of psychological research on self-enhancing illusions suggest that most people have highly (and overly) positive views of their abilities” (para. 22); based on personal experience, I know that this is true. When in college, one of my most-praised skills was singing; I received music scholarships, went on tour, recorded in a studio, and even entertained during the halftime show at an Atlanta Falcon’s game. At the time, it was amazing, and I was on top of the world; however, I didn’t realize that I developed an inflated sense of self, throughout the years. A little while after I graduated, I moved back to South GA. Things were very different; I didn’t have the music opportunities that I expected to receive. Additionally, no one knew that I was a really big deal! I didn’t get the solos and/or auditions and I definitely wasn’t the star. Now, if you would have asked me back then, I would have said that I was grounded, without an inflated ego; however, when I reflect on the years after my brief stint of “stardom”, I was quite prideful. Through maturity and a few hard falls, my thoughts and actions are way more balanced. Kramer (2003) stated that when we do excel, it’s important to have the steady influence of a full personal life and a network of friends who can help us maintain a healthy perspective (para. 22). As Kramer noted, accountability is key. I have people in my life who are not afraid to tell me the truth about myself, even things I don’t want to hear. In order for accountability to work effectively, I must be willing to listen to my friends’ feedback. Through my experience I learned that I’d rather use my gifts with humbleness and gratitude. The fall that follows a big ego is hard and painful; I have no desire to experience that fall again.  

Kramer, R. M. (2003, October ). The Harder They Fall. Retrieved from Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2003/10/the-harder-they-fall

Proverbs 16:18 . (2019, March 07). Retrieved from Bible Gateway: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+16%3A18&version=MSG